Art is risk

“Creative people are curious, flexible, persistent, and independent with a tremendous spirit of adventure and a love of play.” - Henri Matisse

I attended a portraiture workshop hosted by instructor Michael Wilson at the Maine Media College in September last year. The prospect of attending the workshop brought much anxiety as I had no training nor having much experience prior to attending the workshop. I signed up on a whim because I hope having a new challenge might energize my otherwise stale photography practice, and was I glad I did.

There were only four students, myself included in the workshop. Despite having more portraiture experience than I did because of their professions, the other workshop participants were all nice and it was a supportive group. The instructor Michael Wilson is a professional portrait photographer who is known for photographing professional musicians. Michael was instrumental as an instructor throughout the week. He gave us a good variety of exercises under different circumstances so we got to experiment and see what areas of portraiture interested us the most. Time and again he challenged us to step out of our comfort zone – asking random strangers in different towns for permission to take their photographs, setting up a mobile studio with backdrops and photographed passersby who agreed to be models, working with in-house models using artificial lighting equipment. All of these exercises were new to me and they posed challenges to both my technical and social skills. I remember vividly on one occasion when Michael challenged me to take head shots of strangers up close, I therefore had to muster up the courage to ask for permission for putting the camera lens literally up close to someone’s face. To my astonishment, every person I approached readily agreed when asked. This was one of the most memorable experiences for me. Being an Asian, I am used to having plenty of inter-personal space when interacting with someone in the public. The gift of photographing fellow humans up close and experienced their kindness of allowing me to do so renewed my faith in humanity.

The workshop experience warmed my heart. The great teaching of Michael, the camaraderie among the workshop participants, the wonderful experience of interacting and photographing the many people I met during the week. I had many pleasant and memorable conversations with lots of people I wouldn’t have dreamt of. I still felt the great after effects weeks after attending the workshop. I glad I didn’t let my initial hesitation about my skills in the genre stopped me from signing up.

Nowadays I don’t attach my photography to any particular genres. I freely photograph anything as I please. For many years I have been holding this belief in order to be a good photographer, one must have an identifiable aesthetics or theme to his/ her work. I find it freeing when I give up on being limited by a fixed idea when I am still in the process of knowing who I am as an artist.

It is the adventure of art-making that makes it unpredictable. It gives a perfect outlet to explore the many possibilities we are offered and it also offers the discovery of ourselves. The thrill of adventure, the moment when I make an image when I didn’t see it coming that continues to pull me in to engage day in and day out. One doesn’t get that thrill when you are repeating yourself so much, yes you may get some sense of accomplishment, but it is not discovery and it certainly doesn’t encourage growth and it robs us any sense of wonder.

When I don’t live with any uncertainty or risk, that means I am becoming too comfortable in my routine. I have been here before and I am not moving forward. As I look at the work I have done over the years, I notice the change I experienced over the years. I am not interested in making the same photographs I know I am already proficient in. They might have satisfied my curiosity way back then, but that felt so much like another person’s adventure, and I no longer identify with that person. As I live my life, it is natural my taste and perception will change if I give my art practice the freedom to expand. It is a struggle to keep adapting to new challenges, but there lies the greatest joy when I know I am pushing my boundaries. I believe art reflects who we are as a person at any moments in time, and it is a never-ending process.

My experience of taking the portraiture workshop affirms my belief we are hardwired to finding pleasure in doing hard things and overcoming challenges that we think are beyond our reach. We are risk averse by nature as a species. Art making is one way we can engage with risk and challenge ourselves of doing what is unthinkable at first glance, but may end up reaping the most rewards when we dare.