In alignment

“All the powers in the universe are already ours. It is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark. – Swami Vivekanada

When do you know the work that you do is in alignment with your true self? In my case, the work I am referring to would be the photographs I make. Over the years, I took many photography classes, workshops. I have been diligently following other people’s footsteps. While I bide my time honing my skills, I found myself having lost touch with what I really liked to photograph. Even when I believed I was following my dreams, photographing the most amazing places, I had this nagging feeling those dreams were never really mine. I was merely following what was commonly accepted as a fruitful path in photography.

Lately that feeling of lost has been replaced with my reconnection with the true vision of myself. I have been feeling very enthusiastic about my photography. As I start to reflect on this gratifying feeling, I notice there are a few signs that show my photography is full alignment with my true self.

When I don’t have faith in my ability, I let other people’s rules and preferences dictate how I work with the medium since I lack the confidence and defer my decision making to people with more experience than I am. Nowadays, I feel I have shed some layers of my conditioning, I am led to the center of my being – a place that I feel I am filled with unwavering power. It makes me realize I am worthy of expressing myself. It is by no means a sign I have all the answers I need – it means I know what work I do that truly makes me happy. I am fully committed to my happiness regardless of what everyone else thinks. I have a great sense of clarity with what I want in my life.

Alignment also involves a strong relationship with my intuition. I am more trusting of my inner guidance system that support me. Instead of listening to the voice of my ego which tries to protect me, I feel confident my inner compass which has been there all along. I neglected that deep sense of trust for so long and I did not recognize it, but now as I pay more attention, my trust in my intuition is getting stronger by the day.

When I am connected to my true self, I feel immense gratitude for the smallest things in life. Unlike the Pollyanna thinking of staying positive no matter what and ignore all my problems, it is the inner knowing things are tough, but this too shall pass. Even when I have the worst experiences, my inner self recognizes those experiences are the necessary obstacles on the path to expanding and growing beyond my comfort zone. All the experiences I have are serving a purpose of putting myself in a stronger position.

For example, this image was taken during an after-dinner walk around my neighborhood. There is this unsightly derelict building and the developer have yet gotten the permission to do anything about it. To prevent more juvenile delinquents from going in to make damages to the property, the people who own the building put up this unsightly fence with some ugly green fabric wrapped around it. My neighbors hate the sight of it. I caught the sunset light filtered through that dreadful fabric fence, which to me looked like liquid gold. I was immensely grateful to have caught a beautiful moment in a seemingly ugly place. I viewed the moment as a wonderful gift.

For years, I have had a hyper-vigilant fight or flight response system that makes it very difficult for me to feel calm and at east. I spent my days in a highly reactive state, constantly looking out for the next danger. Thanks to my meditation practice, that is no longer the state I find myself in most of the time. I may still have bouts of anxiety occasionally, but I trust myself to tune in to my feelings and having the tools to manage my emotions. I feel at ease when I am in touch with my spirituality, knowing there is something bigger out that that is providing the support I need.

I feel the more aligned I am with my inner self, the more connected I feel to every living organism out there. There is strong sense of oneness, we are all connected. I feel a strong sense of curiosity to my environment. Everything feels so fresh and new. I am continuously looking for clues on my journey. All the signs are telling me I am alright. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am making photographs I love.